A Word on Dreams… and Writing

Hey, y’all! I have been pretty busy lately, not writing-wise, but life-wise. So, I haven’t got a ton done. I joined KDWC (King’s Daughter Writing Camp) and am currently averaging about 600 words a day. But other than that, there’s not much going on writing-wise.

I’ve been ‘editing,’ which is running things through ProWritingAid for Jaidie; she’ll get beta readers to do the actual work…lol…But I wanted to recap here and maybe share something I’ve been thinking about.

What I’ve got done…

• I finished Writing/editing in Emberling, so now I’m just writing! Which I’m super excited about! I did get super stuck on Wednesday, but Madisyn Carlin gave me an idea and I think I’m officially unstuck now!
• I started a short story about 5 times before finally getting it right. I’m working on it now and I’m pretty excited about how the story is turning out! If you’ve read my story in Seize the Love titled Out of Darkness Rising, then you will be happy to know this story is a sort of sequel about Hanna’s boyfriend Mark and his older brother Trevor!
• Emailed and messaged a lot of friends! Seriously, I didn’t realize how many people I knew until I started getting back to them all… lol…
• Went hiking with the fam a few times, primarily Saturday, where we just hiked until about 2 o’clock and then went to see Jesus Revolution.
• And I’ve thought about books a lot, such as what I want to do with my western Rivals of Skyline and when I will start my next western. I’ve also read about 15 books already this year.

Yep, not been very productive lately. Minus getting way too stressed about posting and writing and editing and life and just trying to cram so much into a day, the joy kind of disappears. I’m learning that often, it’s not about how much we get done but how good what we get done is and that sometimes as much as I love an idea or a dream, it has to wait for the right time.

Don’t worry. I’m not giving up writing. I’m still writing, but I’m coming to terms with the idea that I’m not the fastest writer and that I might not be able to make a full-time living off of this for years, if ever. The reality of writing for a living is a lot harder than it sounds or looks. Building blogs, social accounts, and managing it all is stressful!

So, I’m slowing down. If I miss a day of posting on IG and FB in the grand scheme of life, who cares? I could spend that time writing or going to school. I’m prayerfully approaching a career path and asking God if it is His will. I’m still uncertain, but I’m praying about it and trusting Him to lead the way.

Honestly, I’m growing up. Yes, I might be twenty, but I’ve held onto the idea that I have all the time in the world when really I need to start planning for the future and doing things with my life. I’ve felt a bit empty the last few months as I plod along without doing anything purposeful or meaningful. Simply existing and putting off any big decisions because I ‘don’t know’ because I’ve not really tried to know.

So, this weekend I came to the realization that my dream is good, but as much as I hate to admit it, you need money to live and publish books. So, as my dad often quotes, “Money is good and it’s not everything, but you sure do need money to eat.”

So, I’m slowing down my hamster wheel of writing as fast as possible, posting on schedule or else stressing about it, and just trying to relax and enjoy life more as I figure out what I’m doing. I’m not rushing into any big decisions; I’m praying and trusting God to lead the way. I’m surrendering my dreams and desires to Him, as I should have long ago. Trusting that He gave me a love for writing and He knows where He wants me, knowing He has plan and that I don’t have to try to do and be everything.

Honestly, it’s a relief. Such a relief to not worry about any of it anymore. Whether I’m doing enough, or if books will sell, or if this is what I should be doing. I feel better. I know I’m doing what I should have done months ago,

So, as I move forward, I hope to surrender each step to God and let Him take the reins—which is harder than it sounds—and we shall see where He takes me. What adventures I’ll have with God at the reins instead of me stumbling through life.

Have you surrendered everything to God? Or do you cling to things? I’m a control freak, ask my sisters, so I totally it if you do! What are your dreams? What are some things you hope to do with your life? I’d love to chat in the comments!

Bless!
Kayti