Sisters Three Press

  Being accepted is something we all want. We want to be accepted by our friends, our families, and people we don’t know. We want to be accepted by the world for who we are, yet we are afraid to show who we really are for fear of not being accepted. What complicated creatures we humans are.

    Mr. Emerson really knew what he was talking about when he said.

  “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

   I constantly find myself struggling to stay true to who I am at my core because I long to be accepted. At home, I do fine, staying true to my goofy, strong opinioned, bookish self. I randomly come up with a string of rhyming words on a walk, I’ll suddenly start belting whatever song just popped into my head, I’ll suddenly quote a book, movie, or bible verse or I’ll scare my sisters by breaking the silence with an enthusiastic, “So, did you know…”

   Around other people, I clam up. I’ll either stare at them or ramble about something trivial and not important. I literally think I could talk to some in person for like months, and they’d not know very much about me. I find myself watching people to see how they’re acting and trying to fit in without breaking any of my core values. Guys, it’s hard.

  The feeling that I’m going to be judged for who I really am, for my quirks and jokes that most people don’t get (cause usually, they’re pretty corny or leaning heavily on a book or movie most people haven’t heard of). Surprisingly, I don’t worry about my clothes, I like what I wear, but everything else about me I feel like I need to hide. Sometimes I feel like ‘homeschooled pastor’s daughter’ is stamped to my forehead. Sometimes I just feel so… outside of everything.

  But one day, when I was really struggling with wanting to fit in and so not fitting in (we homeschools have a hard time blending in 😉), I heard a song on the radio. It’s called Different and is sung by Micah Tyler. It changed my life. (Mr. Tyler if you ever read this, thank you so much for that song!)

    I listened to it and literally cried; I don’t usually cry when listening to music. Now every time I’m going out to a group event, I’ll sing part of the song to myself. I’ll paste the lyrics here so you guys can read them. 

I don’t wanna hear anymore

 Teach me to listen

 I don’t wanna see anymore

 Give me a vision

 That You could move this heart

 To be set apart

I don’t need to recognize

 The man in the mirror

 And I don’t wanna trade Your plan

 For something familiar

 I can’t waste a day

 I can’t stay the same

I wanna be different

 I wanna be changed

 ‘Til all of me is gone

 And all that remains

 Is a fire so bright

 The whole world can see

 That there’s something different

 So come and be different

 In me

And I don’t wanna spend my life

 Stuck in a pattern

 And I don’t wanna gain this world

 But lose what matters

 And so I’m giving up

 Everything because

I wanna be different

 I wanna be changed

 ‘Til all of me is gone

 And all that remains

 Is a fire so bright

 The whole world can see

 That there’s something different

 So come and be different

 Ooh

I know, that I am far from perfect (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

 But through You the cross still says I’m worth it (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

 So take this beating in my heart and

 Come and finish what You started

 When they see me, let them see You

 ‘Cause I just wanna be different, yeah

I wanna be different

 I wanna be changed

 ‘Til all of me is gone

 And all that remains

 Ohh, is a fire so bright

 The whole world can see

 That there’s something different

 So come and be different

 I just wanna be different

 So could You be different

 In me

This song has become my lifeline, the thing I cling to when I’m struggling with wanting to be accepted and yet not wanting to show who I am.

   Sometimes I’ll read Mr. Emerson’s quote as well and remember that I am me. That I am different and that it’s okay. What I stand for, where I stand is important to me. What I believe to be true is important to me. But most of all it’s important to me that someone can look at me and see what gives me my happiness. That they can look at me and say, “She’s different, I want what she has.”

   I pray God will let me shine differently. I pray now that He’ll make me stand out for Him. I walk into a room more confident. You could still talk to me for hours and know nothing important about me. (I’m an introvert I don’t share my thoughts easily in person.😊)

   The only thing I ask of God is that He’ll let me do my talking for Him on paper because verbally I’m horrible with words…lol…I just can’t get thoughts to form and vocalize. My sentences are riddled with um, and oh, and well…my hands move a lot but my mouth doesn’t say much. (I’m learning ASL, so maybe my hands can actually do the talking for me…lol…)

   Okay, let me corral my thoughts here.

   If staying true to yourself means you’re not going to fit in, go for it! Stand out for Jesus! Stand out for God! Glow for Him who saved you. Stay true to yourself in a world that is telling us we are not wanted, that our beliefs are insulting, stand up and show them the peace that God has given you. Don’t worry about being accepted by the world around you, God has already accepted you the way you are, and He wants you to be different.

    Never be ashamed to say His name. Never be ashamed to claim Him as your Lord. Never be ashamed to stand out for Him! Be Different in Jesus’ name!

Bless!

Kayti